EXO breaking up with their 'girlfriend'

Kris: WHO THE HECK REFUSES TO BE ACE'S MOTHER. ACE IS AS CUTE AND INNOCENT AS HELL. Don't say,"He is white and is a stuff animal" Deal with it. You're so racist and judgmental. Can't a full grown man have a stuffed animal as their son?

Suho: You called to breakup with me didn't you? Fine! Dump me! I don't care. I'm rich and you're not. Besides I lied. I have kids. I'm a mom. I'm Tao's mom.

Luhan: I thought you understood me the best. But you called me cute. I'm not cute. Why are you so blind to see something so obvious? I don't know who you are anymore. You called me cute and not manly. I'm breaking up with you like a man would. Breaking uo with you over text.

Kai: There's a problem between us. We're drifting apart. Keep in mind that it's you not me.

Xiumin: I love you. I really do. Sorry that Baozi happened. I'll take responsibility of what I put in you. I'll take care of it. Hot pot, I'll eat all the food that we cooked together.

Sehun: I met this person and figured that he's my soul mate. Sorry for not saying this sooner but I love Luhan.

Tao: Who came up with this scenario? No way I'm breaking up with my girlfriend. I love my Gucci.

Baekhyun: Agreeing with Tao, who the heck made this scenario telling me to breakup with my eyeliner?

Chen: Wow, I love the way you ex looks. His fashion and his voice. He is so handsome. I'll totally want him as my boyfriend if I were a girl. Wait, I'm your ex. Bye.

Chanyeol: Bacon, sorry. I don't want to do this but I have to. It might hurt like a knife but I promise you that it'll all be alright. I love you, bacon. Oh hi, Baekhyun, want some of bacon. I was about to cut it in half to share.

Lay: Why are you here? I thought I broke up with you ... A few weeks ago... Wait... Oops I remembered wrong. So why are you here? ... ... Oh yeaaa. I called you out to break up with you cause I didn't do so a few weeks ago. I'm breaking up with you. The reason? I forgot. Give me a few days, I'll text you the reason when I remember.

D.O: I never broke up with someone before because I love the person lots. So yea, never broken up with someone before... ... ... BECAUSE THEY ALL DUMP ME BEFORE I CAN! TT