BitterSweet

Have you ever felt so ecstatic whenever someone, that you know for a fact, is special is in close proxemics and is going all friendly with you and then switch to bitter mode on after realizing that that same person is taken already?

It's like getting consumed by the alcohol, feeling all giddy and light and stuff, and then having a freaking headache the morning after. Although I haven't experienced getting drunk yet, I sort of conluded that my usage of simile is kind of appropriate. 

I don't even know exactly why am writing this sht. Lol. This doesn't make sense quite much since I haven't even moved on from a certain guy I got attached to the past four years? That  long? Yea, for me. And another guy who only see me as his lil sis at most, if not a mere Kohai/dongsaeng kind of feel. 

I am not complaining though.

 

 

 

 

Or maybe I really am. XD

 

I would sometimes wonder why people around my age get to enjoy the luxury of getting loved and appreciated by the opposite when I'm not. It's not like I'm asking for a boyfriend. It's just that.....am I really that unlikable? Am I being too goody goody? Was it bad to try and be nice to everyone?

And why do I even suffer from 'fear of men'? Was being reserved and pretty shy around them, just cause I don't really know exactly how to act around them, turn them off or something? Or was it because I don't excel in anything at all? Or 'cause my looks are too average it's easily forgotten...? 

Why do I even bother about it? 
Perhaps I was afraid to die alone. Lol. You'd probably think am over thinking, but no, I was just trying to uhhh..help myself cope up with this kind of stupid frustration. I was randomly typing here to let out my emotions. 

 

I wanted to write more but it's getting late and my eyesight's getting doubled, so off I go to dreamland. Wish me happiness,people. Thank you for wasting your time for me by the way. :P

 

No, seriously, thanks. :)
 

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