well, it's true school is kicking my . i ed up and ended up suspended for attendance issues, and then got put in crp(which is a half day progam for idiots) and idk, i guess i was so pissed off i thought of dropping out because i can legally do that before next year starts, since i turn sixteen in the summer. so i told brophy first, and found out he was being shipped off to somewhere and wouldn't tell me why and he's still not back. then i told morho, my girlfriend, but we ended up getting in a huge fight because she thought i was ruining my life, and i told her to please stop because my panic attack was going to get worse and she messaged me with "then i'll stop texting. bye" and that was the last thing she said for like almost a week(she actually texted me yesterday with "we need to talk" soooo,,,)

so then i ended up calling bria, having a panic attack, and she came and picked me up and idk it was just so messy. 

then i had therapy in the morning and my first day of crp and i had a panic attack in the middle of crp and it was awful and it was just, yeah, awful. so there's that 
and then idk i was just so sad i ended up having panic attacks for the rest of the week and it was just

yeah

and for some reason i at writing anything when i'm happy so??? yeah. idk i've just been,,, bleh. 

i've already gotten messages saying to not delete the stories, but to be honest, i just think that it would still pressure me to update, and it'd be confusing to come back after a while to a story that i forgot about. so i think deleting is my only choice at this point, i'm sorry!! 
i'll come back, i just don't know when. 

i wanna try and get my anxiety under control as best as i can and see what's going on with brophy and morho and see if i can stop feeling like killing everyone in crp. see what bands i wanna write about, see if i can write original fiction again, see if i can find ways to improve my writing skills. 

i'll come back better, that's for sure. 
i'm sorry! i'll still be on aff, i just won't be updating anything. and if i do update something hit me
oh and for sure, feel free to message me with any ideas you want to see or anything!! really!!!!

i love you guys you're radical but yeah
xoxo