but let me put it out here so we can kill the light before the fuse burns out completely. 

there’s so many things to be angry about. but when it comes to trying to take it out on someone, something, attempting to make sense of everything going on around me or even just venting, it simmers down to this sort of sadness. a really passive one as a result of just being done with it and not knowing how to deal with its weight except be silent. 

sometimes there would be so many things that i can’t find the words to absolutely express. it’s so hard to talk to people about it too, you know? talking feels like forcing a burden or the weight of your feelings onto another. in the end, everything still feels like . 

people are so horrible sometimes. we’ve managed to brave through all the horror until 2018, huh. it’s a wonder how an apocalypse hasn’t yet hit us and wiped all of humanity out. i mean, maybe it’s just me, but i would happily drop myself off to hell just so i could escape this rathole. there’s just so much pain and angst you could live with until you’re tired of even yourself.