I'm going to be talking about depression and suicide, so a trigger warning is in place.

Over the past few days as I watch the world mourning the passing of our beloved Jonghyun, there are a lot of things I've been seeing that concern me.

One thing is the attitude around his untimely passing that because he was depressed and suicidal that nothing could have been done once he made up his mind to die. I've seen a lot of comments saying this, and that is a very dangerous line of thinking. It's not correct and sets up a president that could lead to more tragedies. 

There is always something that can be done to save someone, even if it seems like they've made up their mind. A lot of time these feelings and decisions are made in moments of great pain, but if given time, they pass. A person may decided to end their life over a long period of time, or just in a small moment of great pain. But, not matter the process going into it, Something can always be done. Never think that just because you or someone else is suicidal, or has had those thoughts, that it's a done deal. It's not true! You can always get help! ALWAYS! I've been there, on the brink of suicide, and I know how hard it is to cope with that type of feeling. It's hard, but with the right type of interventions, it can be stopped.

I blame Jonghyun's tragic death on two things, his illness, and the lack of proper resources to help him with it. He said some things in his last letter that made me so angry. He blamed himself for being depressed because some doctor told him it was his fault for feeling that way. He went deep into the dangerous mindset of it's all your fault and that makes you worthless. None of this is true. Depression is no one's fault. It's an illness, just like cancer, or something physical. You wouldn't look at someone dying of a physical illness and tell them it's there fault and to just snap out of it. Depression requires treatment and intervention, just like all other illnesses. It's something that happens to you, not something you cause. Never foe second believe your depression is your fault. It's not! He needed someone to look him in the eyes and tell him he was worth the world, that he was sick and they would help him get better. Depression is never your fault. It lies to you and makes you think that it is, but it's not. You are not worthless. No one is ever worthless.

Third, I hate how his death is affecting people. It's made some of his fans sink further into their own illnesses, and may be setting up a president for other struggling celebrities. It's dangerous what is happening. Without a change in attitude and information in Korea about mental illness, this could keep happening. They need to start talking about these things and properly dealing with mental illness instead of blaming the sick for being sick.

This whole thing has made me both incredibly sad and also angry. 

Suicide is never the answer.

Don't you ever think that it is!!

Depression is an illness that can get better. It may never truly ever stop, it may come and go, but the pain will lessen. Those dark moments of wanting to die will happen over and over again, but they are temporary feelings that need to be dealt with. Never ever give into them!

Suicide is stupid! 

I'm not saying the person that commits it is stupid.

I'm saying that the act itself is a stupid concept that should never be considered. Just look at all the people that have been affected by his death. Look at all the pain it caused. It's not worth it!

I wish someone could have told him all these things. I wish someone could have hugged him tight and walked him through everything he was feeling.

I wish his doctors could have told him that none of this was his fault and that there were things they could do to help lighten the load of his illness. 

Depression lies!

It's not you and you are not it!

If you're suffering, do not do it alone. Talk to someone! And, if they try and blame you for what you're feeling, runaway. They are wrong! You are not at fault.

And, no matter what, never ever let this pain drive you to suicide.

Suicide is stupid and it destroys lives beyond your own.

The pain is always temporary, even if you can't see it, even if it comes and goes, or has lasted for years. There are always moments of happiness in-between the pain. Cling to those moments and never ever stop fighting!

I'm terrified that I'm going to wake up one day and see a SUJU member's name on my screen. They better learn from this tragedy and know that there are better alternatives to help with their pain than death. I pray that the other people suffering in Korea, celebrity or not, get the real help they need and realize that depression is not your fault. It's an illness, like other sicknesses, and it can get better.

Never stop fighting!

I wish someone had told Jonghyun all this.

I wish he could have known there was help out there and he was worth more than just his talent. He was worth the world for just being alive and human. He needed a break from the pressure, time to heal, and time to work through the pain. Death was not the solution for his problems. All it did was bring pain to others and end his bright shining life from ever getting better. 

Suicide is never the answer .., 

:(