Why I Chose To Revamp Capitulate + Reasons for Current Pairing Choice

Writing this post because I'll be removing the 'announcement' chapters that I had previously posted in the fic & there might have been readers who hadn't had the chance to read them yet so I thought it'll be best for everyone if I have a blog post (that I can link to in my foreword) explaining things/ certain decisions I made in case of confusions and all.

Okay, first things first;

 

Why did I choose to revamp?

Hmm, long story short, I just lost the passion for Sehun X Yoona + the entire cast I chose for the story no longer motivated me. It was like the spark that initially inspired the story/loveline between them had fizzled into nothingness and in turn, that just resulted in me churning out ideas on force just to try to keep the story going. It was tortuous and gruelling on my end especially since the result of the forceful writing was a story that seemed to be headed nowhere and as a writer, you don't want that. If you don't like what you write, how can you expect others to like it/enjoy it?

Also, the lack luster response coupled with the pressure I felt over meeting expectations (be it mine or others) left me feeling drained to the point I contemplated in giving up writing altogether. That itself was a painful decision because I do enjoy writing, particularly since this was initially a fanfic that had be so excited to begin with.

It was only when I took a hiatus away from everyone and everything that I felt like I was healing, that I was breathing again. And so, under my friend's persuasion, I decided to revamp the story that I couldn't bear to let go of. Shroding myself into a little bubble, I wrote undercover, without the burdensome weight I had initially felt, I kept the foundations but changed the plot, the scenes, the people, everything and anything that I wanted to based on my heart's content, as and when I liked. It was then that writing became fun again, that I felt inspired. And the fanfic just grew and flourished on its own; my own little (miraculous) accidental baby. 

It took plenty of courage to even think of posting the revamped fic because I'm so afraid it'll turn into a flop, that it would wither and die off just like how it did the last time, and I think, that might kill me. 

But alas, if it's one thing I've learnt, is that you need to be brave. That and I just really wished that I'll have a completed fanfic under my belt when I'm done and dusted with this writing business, so yep. That's the reason why the revamp is showing itself in AFF. 

Honestly, I'm not done writing the fanfic yet (I'm about halfway through?) and the thought of exposing the new chapters before I;m done is daunting as fck but I'll try my best to not let it get to me as I carry on my journey.

 

Why this pairing?

Well, as some might know, I'm a fan of GD and I've been rather (unhealthily) obsessed with him of late. And so when I was writing undercover, I knew that I wanted to base my main lead on him.

Okay, so it boiled down to Daragon VS GYoon.

Being a Yoona writer, why did I even want to write about Daragon you ask? Well, fun fact: I'm a Yoona writer who started out her AFF journey as a Daragon reader (surprise surprise ya?) - major shoutout to Huntress for making me to support that ship. I only began writing after being exposed to Nikatsu (Changyoon writer), her stories were what really made me want to try my hand at writing. And while writing undercover, I thought of trying something completely new, so that was how the Daragon revamp came about. 

But see, I'm a Yoona writer, so who in my reader base will even read it? And when I thought of using Yoona instead of Dara in the revamped version, I had another problem; Yoona fits so well (not surprising considering she's the lead that the original was based on). Considering that I was addicted to the taste of GD X Yoona after writing a one shot about them (read here if interested), I struggled to choose between the 2 pairings.

Should I try something new and venture into a new market or write something that I quite (*coughs understatement coughs*) love but risk the small market size as well as the issue of stagnant-ness that I was currently facing. Both had their pros and cons but I couldn't make a decision.

But ultimately, there came a day (16 Nov 2017) that I chanced upon an old video that I hadn't watched for the longest time. It just miraculous appeared on my youtube home page out of the blue. It was OT8's Into The New World ballad rendition in Tokyo Dome. Watching that made me realized a couple of things that I had forgotten;

1) Im Yoona, till this date, remains to be my favorite idol

2) SNSD was the first Kpop girl group that I stan and support. They're my Hallyu Queens even if I no longer keep track of them/listen to them (I went back to english songs tbh and only listen to BigBang if I ever indulge in Kpop)

And it was precisely at the very end of the video where the background played their chant "It is now SoNyuShiDae" that cemented things for me. I couldn't turn my backs on them, on Yoona, no matter what.

And if I were to look at the 2 females individually, as much as I like Dara, I like Yoona the most, hands down. 

It was with Yoona I started and it shall be with Yoona that I end. And that was why I chose GD X YOONA in the end for the revamp.

Come to think of it; I really really love both Changyoon and Daragon so writing a hybrid pairing (one from each pairing) might be fun, especially since I got addicted to the taste of GYoon when I wrote. 

And so I decided to give up on the bigger market of Daragon and decided to gamble with this pairing. The die had been cast. If this ends up to be poorly received in the end, I think, I can live with it since a larger part of me will be at peace for making this call. If I'm not meant to succeed in this whole writing then so be it, I did my best and put up a great fight in trying so yeah. 

 

To end things off:

Some miscellanous details:

1) Old chapters have been taken down and removed.

2) Foundation chapters, title, foreword and tags have been/will be edited accordingly

3) New chapters (4th Chapter onwards) will be uploaded latest 3rd Dec onwards and on a hopefully weekly basis.

Why wait till 3rd Dec? Well, honestly it's my finals period right now and I should get my priorities straight. I need to graduate college omg haha. 

 

Last but not the least, I want to apologize for disappointing anyone & thank those who chose to stay. Also, a major shoutout to those who left comments previously to cheer me on in one way or another. Thank you so very much. 

Peace out, againhello x.

 

 

 

Comments

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Gehanle #1
Hello,
I still love this serious and will be binging all these chapters, but I was actually looking for the YoonHun version as I was reflecting this summer before starting college in the fall. And that version hit me in the best way possible and I was hoping to read it one last time before I bucked down to "adulting." Is there any chance you still have these chapters somewhere in your inventory? I hope you don't take this offensively or that I am being disrespectful of your writing (still a huge fan), but that fanfic was more than just a fanfic but something that helped me through a rough time. (i know i'm dramatic LOL). Keep writing!
nikatsu
#2
Happy that I inspired you to write. :) Keep writing!