벰파이어 Problems #3

She wants me outside today. Where she has lost interest in the stay at home –eating alone in fortitude. I never had a doubt in my mind that my life would stay this way. She would likely leave me, grow tired of whatever it is I was becoming if nothing seemed to piece together and the study on my entire transformation would stay vain.

She would regret even the veins in her body that were dreamily stared at by mines alone.

And I? I would begin to revolt her somehow.

Somehow, she holds me close to her; hand in hand we walk inside a restaurant. Funny realization is that, I let her.

The crossing of humans really has lost my interest. It’s not been but two months but I feel very alien to the clicks and chimes, the smells the delight of people talking vicariously and further more –the scent. I have started to sense hundreds of people’s pulse since three weeks ago.

I haven’t told her yet. I don’t know what it means. It could be that I want her to continue to feel special – believe me, there is no scent unlike like hers and yet my options are much grander. I only reflect on the comparisons and by far, there are very little. Besides, these people are not by my side. They’ll in no time want me dead if they found out who and what I was. That’s my fate, only if I decided to grow towards the monster the books and storylines foretell.

The monster always comes knocking.

I hide it too often.

“So if you stopped earning money, how do you intend to stay at your place?” She is now using her reading glasses to see the menu. They come with her whenever she is out of the house. Being near sighted is probably very difficult for her.

As it relates to the menu, I have not been given one –merely the coloration in my face sets me apart from hunger because of the woman right in front of me. She’s always my main course and I am growing sick and tired of it. I must always lie to myself and ensure to her that we can work things out. Where she ventures otherwise, does not inspire me at all.

She pressed on and on whenever there was a dangerous scene rippling from a main character whom might be the vampire struggling for its humanity. It turns out these romance and thrillers pump up her spirits while I stay neutral. At times I felt that was what it costs to have her feel content in helping me.

I have now partial of my lips and remembered how long my account would last me until. I took up plenty of on the hour jobs and only stopped when I turned. No actual company or franchise misses me. I’m glad of this, that it gives me chills. I frown even so.

“I am probably immortal?” I feed her imagination; I don’t care if I’m immortal or not.

But I eagerly exchange, “I’ll have all of eternity to find a new place. I’ve never really had any trouble without a job anyway.” I result in fixing my head back a fraction while playing the conversations of a child and his mother talk about why flowers bloom on certain seasons.

When I’m answered back, she glares, jealous maybe? I only lull and refrain from at the way she bites her lip. It makes her b plump mouth even redder thereafter.

“You would say that.” Her nose gets an itch and the tip of it gets a scratch.

Whereas it leads me to only answer with less motive– this easily calms her awkwardly. “I’ve lived around as a delinquent far longer than you tried to. I can get around just fine.” That’s right, she is younger. She doesn’t know anything about me. I’ve been in gangs, fought my way out, made good relations with people who helped me become better and I’m here cursed.

I have regained the ability to repeat consistency of what I used to have, which was indelible pain and hardship.

“I’ll be here if you want me to that is; that’s what I owe, I told you I owe you and you aren’t going anywhere last I checked.”

My eyes deepen at her saying this to me. I try to exhibit a graceful smile only my expression hardens. For I know, that after tugging and pulling, how often she stays by my side because she’s not strong enough to leave me. She is falling for me slowly and every day I try not to kill her for it.

“Listen to me, follow where I’m going when I say…I’ll know when you aren’t within my grasp. You’re like a billion bees buzzing –only until the honey nest drops will you swarm and attack because I desire that sting.” I lean onto the table dividing us effortlessly. Again, I have no super powers. I don’t have enhanced speed, can’t see in the dark, no healing powers or the ability to hear from miles away. I simply have a desire that needs feeding and even now, I grow hungrier.

For sure I will cut it off. She does not know this but I want her to recognize that death will likely reflect off of my red orbs the moment I slip up.

Hands go over . Has she not heard this before? I tell her all the time how delicious her blood is and all I hear are nonchalant thank yous and chuckles. It unnerves me.

I want her hairs to rise, for her to run away and yet we gravitate towards each other inconsistently.

“Soon I’ll be able to go back to my old –I mean my old but better routine.” She offers me a drink when all I do is listen to the heartbeat I care about in front of me. She tells me she doesn’t want to leave and I close my eyes to trounce where I feel happy about my relation with her. I can’t continue to bite off of my best friend’s sister.

I then decide on a reoccurring. One day, I won’t be home, I won’t be in this town and it’ll be because I’m dead.

I plan to kill myself in three days.

Does she blindly believe that I gave in completely by letting her come by, sleep, eat, and develop ways for me to be human when I’m not? She’d been trying to anchor me –this little love of hers, was going to slip away from her fingers whether she liked it or not.

I’m tired already. I won’t continue a forlorn pattern that never breaks. When it comes to vampires apparently they’re lonely. They are bloodsuckers.

I wind up closing my eyes once more –undergoing a shameful pain I never expected to have. I want her blood so ing bad, it’s disastrous.

“Cute vampire… you’re a smooth talker but I know that you’ll grow tired of me sooner or later. I am here just to ease your pain… I keep saying this and it probably sounds very erted.” I remember when she blushes that she never looks away.

She keeps her gaze leveled whenever she is scared, happy, in love, hurt. All the more difficult to face her –lovely elucidating gaze.

“I’m pushing to keep you because you’re sly. I am afraid you’re just going to hurt the people that love you because you feel you won’t be anything else than a vampire.” Her whisper cautions the problem poorly. Her glasses look pretty on her, definitely a shame how badly she interprets compact information. Ever under prescription, she’d be blind. I stopped thinking life wasn’t bad many nights ago. It’s a bit selfish to believe that I will have her blood to myself…

My lips press firmly while she says, “If it’s my blood that eases you then keep at it. I have plans for that even… I mean I’ve dreamed about it.” Not in my years would I think to hear her say she dreams about giving me her blood.

I have lost all coherent breathing. I found that I don’t need to breathe for a very long time. I look first at her, then at the waitress on her way. She’s wearing a very delicate piece of jewelry on her neck. It masks her scent uneasily but the design of the necklace is what gears my attention.

The woman wears an infinity anchor Y shaped necklace. Though it goes farther down her perturbed cleavage, I intently stare even when she asked –“What would you like.”

I feel a painless kick and then revert to only pressing forth, “I’d like to know where you got that necklace from.” I do smile but there is nothing reaching my crimson eyes.

Gladly to report to such a young man like myself, the woman’s slender hand brushes over the plate at her chest and tells me; this mystical shop that closed a long time ago –from when her great –great grandmother lived. It’s of an ancient symbol that represents the end of life as it was.

This woman explains her past was horrible, she decided to start wearing it after the mother passed away for a new slate.

Despite my condolences, I refrain from looking away even then. The woman I’m here with, only makes her order quick enough so that I don’t drool.

Only I don’t drool, I ponder. There was something about that necklace that only now makes me tremble. The brand at my neckline looked very similar to an anchor last I’d checked.

“Care to keep me abreast?” I’m only hearing her but nothing is moving around me.

The longer I feel stagnant I suddenly slam my hand on the table and hiss, “Shut up a minute.” As my teeth bare, they don’t yearn for blood but answers. Perhaps it’s fuzzy but I can hear loud uppity laughs from a far, “You’ll have me forever so that nothing breaks.”

I have lost the composer even now. It’s not becoming –she might even lose her appetite. But she is silent. She listens and hears nothing out of the ordinary when my ear unmeasurably tilts towards the sound.

I feel threatened. It’s not the brand, the thought of what the brand could mean or why I am because of it. It’s her voice. Then there, this faceless woman that calls me hers from time to time –she is nothing like this girl helping me but I have this wave of opposition when finally meeting her gaze. She’s not who she is in that brief second. She isn’t the young girl I used to drag home from the corner around drinking bars. It’s a feigning I jolt in response to.

“Keep drinking, you are not yet strong.”

“What… what are…” It’s certainly not the time or place for seeing things.

As though to keep me in check, my hand is touched; it leads this wary sensation to be rid of too. My eyes flicker down to it and the eyes that I missed give me such alarm but warmth at the same time. Time moves on as she is growing concerned. “Baekhyun, you’re freaking me out!”

“I could say the same thing to you..” I slip my hand away while depending on the booth to hold me from behind.

I sigh out, losing my senses only but one minute has me aware that even now, I’m under someone’s direction. And another thing…. I am not sure who this girl is anymore.

Which means the walk home is distant.

I ask her to give me space but she still wants to come home with me, to feed me.

“I don’t want any of your blood. Go.” I give her an intractable, unsteady warning.

There’s but only a few more strides before I hear the bees swarming. It’s like my seventh sense tingles, I know where it wants to attack –at least I thought I did.

Upon turning to divert the hand she wants to take, the nape of my neck is tugged for stability just before she reaches up to kiss me.

It’s fiery. I wouldn’t want this feeling ever again. It’s as though she has been waiting for this. This pressure opens our mouths and I inhale her desirably so, that she manages to retract in time. I then burst out with a few gasps when she pulls away. Due to my shock she smiles but then narrows her rounded eyes.

“You looked at me as if I wanted to do something horrible to you…. I mean you were staring at the waitress, I got jealous…. You know I like you obviously and I don’t like feeling as though I’m not being heard, Baekhyun. It’s the main reason why I ran away from home a lot….”

She sees that I have placed my hand over my mouth. I’m wordlessly intoxicated. My eyes want to roll back. The contact of her lips is forbidden. I never felt her skin in such a way. Perhaps it’s closer to her scent. The lungs she used push air through –just before she could use her tongue, was about to kill her.

I almost killed her just now.

I want to take a step back but she is stubborn. Her hands wrap around my neck firmly now and she goes to great lengths to meet me eye to eye under the now starry moon. I exhibit much control though I grow teary.

“I want you to understand that just because I want to help you, doesn’t mean I can help you forever. We both know this… that’s why I want you to just try something.” She leans closer and I regain control to of course try and push her away.

“Look, it’s not that easy. When I want you, I’ll let you know… just keep it simple, please.” I breathed out lastly, looking for the dark sky to come snatch her up and do away with her for just the night.

“I don’t have that long, you know!”

She yells this behind me. I have begun to walk up to my front door and even then I shake my head, “You’re ing stubborn, I said go!” I shout back.

Somehow I hear her. She’s crying and I only get up to unlocking the door before I rush inside and leave the front open.

She doesn’t like to cry.

I feel panicky. I walk into the main room, turn the lights on and run into a sofa that makes me curl into a ball.

I just don’t want to hurt her tonight. And that imagery of that woman… Why was it in front of me, as though she was the same person?

I am wary all over again.

But there’s no way she would know this. She’s convinced I was infatuated with the waitress, how silly.

When the door shuts, I stop breathing.

She has come inside and doesn’t come near me. “Thanks for dinner. Thanks for making me look like an and thanks for returning my feelings.” It’s sincerely turned to make the situation a joke the longer she shows her gratitude.

“I asked you to go because I am not sure how to keep having you when I want to kill you.” I have to avoid remembering what her kiss does to me.

I hear her chuckle even then –what doesn’t surprise her these days? “I know you won’t kill me, you’re just not drinking until you’re satisfied I guess. I read up on some other legends that say the longer you hold out your thirst, the more you lose your ability to become a vampire. There’s also one that states vampires only desire one person’s blood, it’s not even the blood type but the person. That person will always be able to provide for them and never die because of the sacrifice they’ve made.”

I have to roll my eyes. She’ll lean towards the fortunate outplays. The ones that make it possible for her to walk out of here every day. It’s to keep her mind clear of dangerous outcomes. Yet she still doesn’t know why I tried to kill her on that certain moon.

Oh right. That moon. I have a bad hunch that in four days, that moon will come back again –that’s why in three, I’ll kill myself.

“What was it that you wanted to try?” There have been a couple of TV shows watched this last hour and I haven’t turned away from the face of the couch neither have I unraveled myself from my tight body ball.

I have her question herself, before she cleared –her hand touched my hairs and soon her lips landed on the back of my head. “I also read,” The tone sultrily forced my eyes open and I immediately shot my head up to face her. Though inches away, I decided not to overreact.

“ual correlates the blood from the giver to the vampire ten times better.”

I want to kick her face. These are those moments of course I categorize her. I know she hates it.

“I’m not having with my best friend’s sister.” I dryly say before I turn around.

“Look, do you understand that my period is in two days? I won’t be able to see you for a week and you’ll be hungry.”

She has plans, I knew it. But so do I.

Yet, my head grows weak to the idea. Then I remember that I want to kill myself in three days. I won’t be here when she comes back, she’ll be sad. She will hate me but at least she’ll have a cycle worry free of me.

I told her before. I know where she is no matter the state or place. She thinks I don’t know she went to another city during the week of her cycle last month.

I could smell her, acting as though I didn’t need more of her when she came back. I’m on a fixed income and I’m not allowed to complain.

“You plan to have every month, with a vampire?” I darkly laugh at the sensation filling me up. Any longer and I won’t deny her.

“You could end up pregnant, give birth or die having my demon baby, is that what you want?” I sit up half way, drawing my hand to the side of my face so that I sit on it to gaze down at her sadly.

I shock her and leave her to gape silently.

“I appreciate you so much… but I just don’t want you here after tonight. I’ll call you though.” I start to smile but it comes off short. I have to blink blankly at her punch my arm three times.

She stands to her feet then and I watch intensely when her locks sway out of her face to clearly deliver a message, “If you don’t want my help anymore, I don’t know what to say or do. I wanted to work it out, Sehun wouldn’t shut up about you since you talked to him and aside from my sincerity, he always makes sure that I have an update about you. You won’t talk to anyone but me, but now that’s over so what are you planning to do? I’m trying to understand you.”

“It’s not about any of that. You’re trying to make me responsible over things I no longer care about. I just want to know why I was branded but I am haunted with the thought to kill every other night. I want to drink you dry, only you –I can if I wanted to too.” I gain some verity.

Her lips pull downward, lost in my truth she finally becomes hurt but her head stays leveled.

“Fine then, do it.”

I halt. There’s heavy flood of reminders banging at my throat. It’s these words.

Does she know what the she is doing?

“You can try and drink me dry, though I doubt you’ll succeed.” Her soothing coax nearly makes her seem as though this is her art.

When I glare back at her, I bite my lip. I want to cover but I want her to keep talking. I just need her to say it again.

“What are you waiting for Baekhyun? Hurry up and prove me right so I can tell you how much of an you are for keeping things to yourself. You’re worried for my safety but I am a bit too confident right now.” She had her head tilted and when she looked on ahead to the next room, she started to walk into my bed room in fact.

I had to watch her remove her light jacket, shirt, then her jeans. I admired the way her hair clung the arch of her erect backside.

My mouth opened to say something –“You’re crazy.”

“Drink me Baekhyun.” It’s uttered too surely that my power of super speed was put to the test. I have them now and it has scared the out of her. My eyes round very widely before I get a chance to pin her to the bed.

She’s about to yelp again when I lower myself to the crevice of her cleavage. It’s not processing that she just gave herself to me. I’ve always been so distant, but when I drink –it’s an intimate relation.

“Fine.” I murmur so closely that I follow the major circulation with my tongue.

“Fine what?” I know she lost her voice but after many gulps I repress to look up at her and smirk, “I’ll prove you right, this one time will be our last time.” I mean it for sure, whereas I then pop off the stiches holding her bra together in the front. The perked s are the first thing in sight before I latch onto one of them.

They’re not as hot as her lips but they too burn my lips. It’s very, very intoxicating because I don’t have to pull away.

It’s then she gasps, clinging onto me. I have never heard her gasp in such a note. My brain tries to function out of my monstrous greed. If I’m not her first, I’ll definitely become her last or at least the first vampire she’s ever had with.

My head slants sideways and I onto her left even when I pull away to lap under the bouncing core.

She breathes heavily and I imagine that she wants more. I would sink my teeth in but if I do, it’ll just be that and that’s not what she wants to test out. She wants me to be satisfied by having all over her, in and out.

I grimace at the bearing of my canines even so.

Her hand now caresses the side of my face and I’m bought into gazing down at her. She whispers, “Kiss me.” It’s achy, more so of a plea and I grind down on between her legs to a fine opening of her and the following moan along with the fluttering of her eyes, distracts only for so long. She still wants this kiss and I swallow back, forcefully getting over how much I could just feel the menacing pleasure.

I wanted to be in her so badly that it didn’t make any sense. I’m growing an influx amount of sternness that my length begins to poke abrasively in chorus with my grinding. My upper lip twitches second after second.

It’s then I alleviate another sigh before pressing my lips to hers.

I nearly whine –God, she burns!

I want to pull away but too soon I can taste her tongue. She works against mines so well that I reach for the side of her head to keep her still in the moment. I work along with her, not needing time to breathe anymore, I succumb and fall hard.

Her breath is delectably hot. I take her underwear by then and dangerously rip them open as well. I’ve opened up her leg from under and I feel her at my hip as well. She’s going to run her nails up my back. Too soon, I lift off and get my black long-sleeved crew off entirely.

When she meets my gaze, her lips shut. She then mutters, “.”

She has never seen my eyes so bright, my hair seems to have grown to my shoulders further down and before I know it –I mouth, “Let’s.”