Life lately...

I still get surprised about the fact that my brain can get preoccupied with thinking about school when I literally don't give two s about school... Does that make sense? Of course it doesn't. Well, what I mean is that, I'm not really studious, I don't pay extra attention to school and I don't exert half as much of the efforts that are actually needed for it. I kinda just literally go there, do stuff sometimes, but most of the time I'm stressed about it. Probably this happy-go-lucky attitude adds up to that stress, because the anxiety piles up and lots of works are getting stacked up unnoticed. I'm still slightly *shookt* over the fact that I do almost nothing for school and yet it stops me from doing things that I actually wanna invest my time in. HA HA HA I'm a useless piece of , I know. I'm not self-pitying when I say that, it's a god honest fact about myself. No worries, I've kinda learned to accept that.

On the lighter side of things, speaking of learning to accept facts about myself, I'm probably speaking a little too soon, but I'm kinda slowly becoming able to handle myself better these days. I still get angry, cranky, and still a lot whiny, but when I complain about things, I let myself complain. I mean, I'm finally able to express my emotions more without having to feel the need to regret about it later. I'm me, happens to me, and I have the right to be ty for feeling ty. I'm not the best person in the world, and I don't want to be that. Almost all of the people who sees me complaining probably doesn't even care about me, so why should I feel guilty about letting my frustrations out? If they're affected, well, not my fault.

Yes, I'm finally able to feel less responsible about what other people feel about me, and I'm slowly unlearning the unhealthy habit of giving a about what other people think.

What are you guys doing anyway? How have you been? :D

Comments

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JammyJanJan
1 points #1
Hope you have a great day ♡
KYX1994
1 points #2
Can I be sincere and express my opinion?

Yes, you are totally right about being free of complaining and letting your feelings free (bottle up emotions is poisonous) but complaining and don't do anything to change the situation (when you are able to do something about it) is different.
It's great that you got to the point to look only at yourself and don't let people let you down but you have to use that to focus on improving yourself for you, on building your own future. Don't use the "I don't let people bring me down and judge me" attitude to justify yourself for doing nothing. Being frustrated by life is normal and you can deal how you want with it. You want to complain? Complain. You want to cry? Cry. But then get up and fight for what you want from life.
I don't know anything about your life but from what I read here it looks like you are putting aside things that would be important for your future. Please, take a moment to think deeply about them.
I'm writing this unnecessary comment because I still regret letting some opportunities slip away because of my past attitude and I hope you won't make the same mistake. If only I had thought about certain things more in the past and put real effort in them my present and future would be different. I didn't make serious damage but I'm sure if I had continue down that way I would have.
I'm not judging you. You have the freedom to do what you want with your life.
I don't want to make you feel sad or hate yourself either.

I just want to help you because I saw my past self in your words.

Again, I know nothing about your life so it's highly probable I'm totally misunderstanding the situation. If that's the case, I'm sorry.

Feel free to ignore what I wrote since this is just me meddling with your life but I'd like for you to at least think about this.

Again, sorry. I hope you'll have a life full of beautiful things. :)
Namlunasoo
1 points #3
I can kind of relate to what you say about school. Honestly it seems like I'm stressed about school 24/7 but I never do anything about it. Although I admit I maybe care too much sometimes, even if I say I don't care about school.

Anyways I'm glad you're learning to accept yourself and not care about what others think. I still need to work on this aspect of myself.