It's nothing to cry over...

Oh dear, it's really nothing to cry over.

But why is there still a heavy rock remaining in my chest?

Have any of you ever liked someone, a lot? I'm pretty sure you did. I think I fell in love...actually, i'm not so sure anymore. Was it love? or was it just my heart's desire? I'm sorry, I had to let it out. I began liking this boy last year, we'll call him A. At first, i never really noticed A, his looks weren't really something you'd turn your head for, and in general he just didn't catch my eye at all. But then one day, I had spoken to him. And then the next day after that, and then the next day after that. Till each day, mine began to revolve around him. its funny, your heart works in many odd ways. I really didn't notice i had started liking him....

...until one day, in a room full of crowded people, all I kept looking for, was his eyes.

each day, I really did wonder about it. How did i manage to like him? i mean, i really enjoyed talking to him, he made me laugh a lot. its weird really, the more i got to know him, the more handsome he got, or was he always that good looking? i guess personality really does define a person's beauty, huh?

but did you know? perhaps i did fall for him, the first time in my life, my heart skipped a beat, for a boy. ive liked a boy before, but i dont think my heart actually stopped for him. but A? i could never forget that day, how my heart missed a step when my eyes met A's. 

Why am I crying, you might wonder?

really its nothing to cry over, but im upset that i spilled a tear or two, or the fact that my heart feels heavy and numb.

its when you realize that the person you put so high in a pedestal, simply treats you as if you were a mere pebble in his life.

that really comes down hard on you, even if you were expecting it.

I was never really keen on getting A to like me back, a lot of people thought he did, and i guess it was my fault for believing them too. for giving myself hope.

but i guess thats just what we do when we like someone a lot. we take any ounce of hope we get, and we revolve ourselves between this string of hope. thats just how our hearts work.

i dont think my heart ever felt this heavy for a guy. But i guess there's no one to blame but me, throughout time i always had my guard up, not letting myself have any hope when it comes to guys. But i guess i let my guard down, didn't i?

it's nothing to cry over, really.

i'll get over it.

how funny how i put him on this high pedestal

but....

he thinks of me as nothing more than a pebble in his life.....