Hiii everyone... so I'm still not writing fics at this point, and for that I am sorry. It just hasn't been the same and my writing energies have gone into different media lately instead. However, in a happy contemplative mood, I did write this autobiographical little drabble that I finished this evening.

I guess I'll give you some background: I fell in love with a girl. I mean, it's definitely not the first time I have. But it is the most different kind of relationship I've been in. We met on a Tinder date and from there sort of naturally fell for each other until finally, we were actually together. It's been about six months now and still feels like evolving and blooming and getting better and better each day.

She is esoteric and sometimes hard for me to understand (though I'm getting better at it), but the more I'm with her the more peaceful and all-accepting kind of person I realize she is, and me stepping into that too has changed the kind of couple we are and changed me for the better. Maybe that's something I'd say in any of my new relationships, I'm not really sure anymore, but for the present moment I have to say, my GOD, I am so happy. Also, the is freaking godly. But that's beside the point (or part and parcel of it? Hahahaaa.)

So here you go. I hope this'll give some measure of satisfaction to people who missed my writing? Maybe, if we have some more book-worthy adventures, I'll try and pen them down too :)

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At 9 pm the night before we go.

I've just lost my job.

That's not the most precise description. Just a little more “bam” than 'I've just gotten notified that I'm not getting my contract renewed next year.' But it's probably as throat-catching as the other. It's as burning and as eye-wetting and as and sobbing. It's all those. It's a painful piece of news.

She is driving back from Kaohsiung where she stayed the night for a business meeting or two. She says she'll let me know as soon as she's home. 'Home' isn't with me – it is with her parents. But her being home means being in the place we can talk without the green lights or highways obstructing us.

“I wish I was with you,” she says. I just birthed the thought before her message popped up – I want her here, her slender arms catching me up in them slow and sweet like she does. Her lips giving me warm little kisses on the side of my neck while she murmurs wordless comfort. Her blessing me with the joyful tone of her greeting of “Hey, babe!” and her spontaneously sweet smile. My love is not a romantic – not in the widely recognized sense. She is visibly baffled by the notion of her spontaneously telling me how much she loves me, or why or how, or that she finds it cute when I do this or that. She rarely, if ever, says 'I love you' first (though doesn't fail to say it back).

But, in a way I've come to appreciate more and more as we've settled into the shape of us together, she radiates it. She reflects the mood of the moment, and if we are at ease (we mostly are at ease), her care and love wafts off her like the aroma off of a flower, simply, naturally. Small but lovely things like us being out doing errands in public and while I wait for something she declares her inclination to wander, then insists, “Come with me, I want you to be with me.” This kind of simple, pure comfort in our closeness is what has summed up the real transformation of our relationship... just come with me, just be with me. Your presence is important. Your hand in mine is important. Your small caresses and occasionally shared glances among the sweep of daily life are important.

This is the real love between us. This is the kind of love that doesn't make you tired or make you wonder for just a moment why you do it or depend on grandiose gestures and social media declarations. It is self-knowing love. It is love in the routine, in the relaxing, and sometimes in the adventure and the thrill. It is love independent of the nature of the moment. It is indescribably beautiful.

Smile with me. Do chores with me. Kiss with me. Make love with me. Be. WITH. me.

And she is, and I am, and we are. That is all our love needs to be.