Hi. 

I don't know if somebody even reads this or nah but I just have to write it out of me and ask for opinions. Sorry for boring you in advance. 

So, I'm actually really lonely relationship-wise; I was always that girl who had literally no boyfriend in the team but gave the best tips to anyone who needed it. I was the single friend who didn't get noticed little to no time, I was the girl who was always remembered as "XY's friend" and really, I was kinda fine with that as I grew up. I didn't expect anything from anybody, I slightly enjoyed single life but at the same time, deep inside I was miserable that I didn't find someone who isn't just want to me some time and focus on outer apperance, and isn't creeped out because of my brain (or lack thereof). I lived almost all my life in the shadows. 

But now I met a guy, it was a ing weird accident. He just saw my comment on Facebook on a Star Wars fanpage and wrote to me. He is a super awesome SW fanboy, polite, handsome and funny too. We went on three dates till now, and I had so much fun l didn't have in a lifetime near a male. He paid everything (although it irritated the hell out of me), got me presents (chocolate, HP every flavoured jelly beans, A ING ROSE BOX FOR WOMAN'S DAY, LIKE WTF MAN) and he was super-duper polite. Today, he even asked permission from me to hold my hand. He doesn't jump on me, and respects my personal space as well as my decisions, which is the best thing a partner could done to me, to be honest.

He is perfect... almost to perfect. He always compliments me (which I can't really accept because I was bullied like in all my childhood years) and so much like the ideal boyfriend for me that I'm ing baffled. Hell, he even searched up EXO because I said something about them ONCE, and he got hooked on Kpop and try to memorise their names and always asking questions about my studies (I study Korean course at uni) and in general about Korea, just to please me. And it's ing weird but... in a really heart-warming way. 

What I mean with all of this that I'm scared. We are not together yet, but he seems too perfect for me... but I also fear that if I let him go, I will lost a precious gem. I deem myself as someone who cannot "love" romantically, I'm just too rational for that, I think but I really crave for the whole feeling and I want to be together with somebody who is perfect for me. And I don't know if I should keep going.

Sorry for the long post, I know it's complete bull, and yada yada. If you reached this point, thank you. <3 

Anna