I Think I'm In Love...?
Hi there!
Are there anybody there that are love experts?
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I don't know how to utter this but it's my 2nd grade at High School right know. The first week of school on tuesday when I was on the bus on my way to school listening to Kpop. Did I see a handsome-asian guy enter and he really looked similar to Mark (Got7). I fangirled inside and blushed, due to the fact that he looked at me and seated behind me...Behind me!!???...I couldnät believe it...Nobody really liked me in an "love-romance" way...though.
I tried to ignore the feelings I got and tried to avoid him and stared at him when he didn't see...I think his friends see me as weird..Lol..
Anyway, I told his friends one day that I go to karate and that I can show them some skills and one of them squealed in horror and tried to be afraid..lmao...So I laughed and I and my friend dragged us from there.
But another day did I embarrass myself really hard...My crush (name him Gangster) was sitting with his chile-friend and they were talking on the floor below and when my friend approached me did I tell her whom my crush was..and as soon that I did said that did my crush and his friend gaze at us...they really gazed at us in a curiously way...*shy*. But do ya know what I did?!!!...As soon that my crush stared at me did I ran my away from there and I hid behind a locker embarrassed...My friend laughed that whole day and my crush looked at me weirdly...Lol...I think I'm too weird...
Anyway, here's the story...that's weird and crazy XD..
I fell in LOVE with a Gangster
Who did know that I was going to fall in love once I began my second year at High School? Even I didn’t know that…And I couldn’t stop my feelings either…
I was just like any other ordinary girl, you can say. But however didn’t I be like them in majority. I were more sweet, innocent, smarter and of course immature when it came to passion. Lol! Yup, I’m single and I haven’t even dated- and I’m 17 yrs. old…Omg some would utter but I would say “I’m still too young for that matter…”..Yeah…
So I’m a Kurd from Kurdistan of the part of Turkey and I have my own culture but I love every culture in the world and I love a lot of things! I’ve soooo many interests!!! So I was a normal girl in other individs eyes but in my eyes were I different or special. My friends loved me and I adored them- we had a great time together! I also loved my family and school. On my free-time did I go out with my friends, play games, write novels, dance like crazy, listen to music and be with my family.Another thing I explored were both manga and anime/Asian culture when I was 12 yrs. Old. But I had explored a different kind of music genre too at that time which did make me special & also lonely at first- Kpop. It’s hard to explain but I love Asia too and I really did fall in love with Asia from that time. I love Kpop & of course also my other interests!! My family hated this and also some of my friends/relatives but they didn’t want to say it to me cause’ I get angry easily...yeah.
So this is my story on how I met a boy at my school and fell in love with him for the first time in my life. He reminded me of a gangster but also a Kpop-artist, weird right? I tried to talk to him or just smile but my whole body didn’t obey me and I could only get red in front of him or run away…or smile and whip my hair…I’m the worst at this matter really.Anyway, I’m trying to befriend him these days but I’m too shy and even if I’m strong- because I go to karate on my free-time on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; so am I still shy haha. Pffft! Why can’t I be like the other girls!!!?? But I’m like them really…ugh we girls are really really stupid…
I remember one day in the school canteen when me and my friend were eating and suddenly did the gangster guy’s (my crush’s) friends sit in front of us. They started to laugh with other students and I and my bestie looked at them. But to my surprise did my crush came and I prayed to let him sit far away from us…but he sat with his friends and the big guy (my crush’s friend; he’s a ’95?, from Chile, bad grades and have traveled to the first year, but should be in the 3rd I suppose…) He started talk to me and my friend about lemon water and such and I showed them my professional side… (Why did I do that…? *shy & face palm*). They seemed amused and his other friend (I assume he’s an Arab. Or such) did talk to me too. Aish/omg these guys!!! I saw how my crush stared at me and I got red but tried to be strong…Lol! It ended that I advised the big guy to let me kick the Arab guy and my crush seemed shocked ha-ha *face-palm*…and after that did I scare the Arab guy…I assume that he got shocked that a girl would like to beat him…and he said no-no-no to my advice to kick him…Lol!!!!
After that did I and my bestie walk away from the canteen and I face-palmed myself every time…*takes a deep breath*. My crush thinks now that I love to kick and beat guys…huh…TT
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The first time I saw my crush was when I was on the bus the first week on the autumn season, I suppose it was a Tuesday. He walked in with his blonde fringe, dark eyes and his hoodie. He looked really like a Kpop-star and I supposed so too! I got in love for the first time (in my life~) that day…
After that day did I see him in school and I really got red every time our eyes met...I remember when I ran away, in the afternoon that day, when I pointed to my other bestie that my crush (the 1st crush ever) were him and when I said that did he and his friend look at us…!! (And I don’t think they heard us though…)We were on the floor over them and I got shocked when my crush a.k.a. Kpop-style-guy/ Gangster stared at me and I did the worst thing ever…!! Omg!!! I didn’t smile at him like other girls would do…but I ran my away from there!! And hide behind a locker with a red face…Omg…I’m such an idiot… They stared at me until I was out of the way…They think really that I’m crazy… (Note: “a crazy girl). My friend laughed and laughed the whole day……Pffft! (o--____--o) <----Me ^^
After those days have I tried to be sassy around him and to do well in my studies & I have got better I guess from my hard work & the way my crush looks at me now (like tenderly or shy or weird sometimes) but I’m still unsure….
He’s sooooo dazzling anyway (like JB from GOT7 <3 <3 <3 <3)…..I’m afraid that it’s one-sided love… (oT___To)
I hope God will hear my wishes and make me a lucky woman *pray to God*.
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As I’ve see today are my crush aka. Gangster popular both with females & males and he laugh pretty too. He also loves to tease and be cheesy…Aish!! So cheesy that I got jealous today at those girls he was with…Lmao my heart…*___* Hope we can talk sometime~ That day will I be boss-like and like a poker face in front of him...cause’ I know that if I show to him that I’m uninterested will he surely be on his knees for me…or not if I do the wrong way…yeah…Because this isn’t an K-drama…sadly….(Wae!? Wae…?) T___T
Hope I’m the lucky one…<3 I’ve tried to search on Google and YouTube on how to approach your crush…and it’s not that easy…for me…hehe…but I got a high score anyway, that says that it’s possible that my crush has a secretly crush on me…Omg! Omo! Oh la la! Mashallah! Lao tian a! Ah kami-sama! Herregud!
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Last week did I see my crush after our last lesson that was math. As fast that our eyes did meet did I turn around and blush madly. I tried to hide my cheeks and my best friend tried to stiffen her laugh and she said to me that my crush was still standing there awkwardly and was staring. My crush was behind me and I suppose he smiled at me or such… but then did he walk away…and I don’t know why… Aigoo how stupid can I be..?!!!
I should have showed him my mature side instead…but I didn’t…what an idiot I am…*starts fake-crying…*
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I saw my crush today when I didn’t have an English lesson. He walked in front of me and I did my best to ignore and be absorbed in my phone. Omo! I adored everything he had…how can someone be so perfect…?...
Later at lunch did I saw him with two pretty Asian girls (like him; he’s Asian too)…omg…I couldn’t believe my eyes!!! I think I’m a bit jealous. My friend that also loves Kpop looked at me and she shook her head at them and I tried to be positive but you know that depressed feeling when you have a feeling that nobody likes you...yeah. So in the end was I angry and sad so I tried to ignore my crush that were behind us with his girls…He stared a lot…But I walked away…
I hope that I still have a chance…I’m so unlucky… But who cares?! I’m still young and cute and popular/smart among everyone…Hope I have a nice future tho…
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Today did I see my crush with his Asian-girl with glasses-classmate and they were talking…and I was walking up the stairs with my friends and laughing. As soon that I and my crush saw each one did we stop talking…it was odd…really!!! And I hide my face and fixed my hair when he looked (cause’ I was embarrassed due to the other day)…My friends looked at me funny and him, and my crush did stare a lot also today…I was really upset…
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I saw my crush today at the lunch canteen and he seemed happy today. He looked also AMAZING with his black cap/”mössa” and grey-and black style outfit (that I also had with jeans)…XD
Anyway we stared at each other very intensely…and a bit too awkwardly…Lmao— I think we’ll start some conversation soon…maybe after this week…or so…^^ My friends loves to tease me…really they should be quieter… *face-palm*
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I saw my crush today pass by me in the hall. He seemed to be in thoughts but still so handsome…awww! I stared at him and he then looked at me but I didn’t see his face clearly due to the fact that my glasses were off. Anyway didn’t we stare awkwardly…hehe.My friend (Kpop-fan also) loves to tease me and she admitted that my crush was handsome and that he seemed popular (like a kpop-star). He could also be a gangster…tho. I love his blond-dyed hair… (He looks so much like Mark and sooooo handsome…)
I will try to stalk him (obviously) after my lesson…and hope to see him. I wish he liked/admired me too…but I’m unsure of that. But there could be a possibility…who knows..? He doesn’t maybe like me…or is too shy (?)… I’m maybe too sassy…Lol or not. Cx
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After math class did I try to wait for his class to end…and I got really inpatient so I walked back & forth and the students in his class stared at me weirdly…ugh...
My friend come finally (girl) and we talked and suddenly did my crush’s class come out and I and my crush stared at each other suddenly when our eyes met with mixed feelings. I adverted my gaze then and heard him say to his friends (one of them is a Swedish girl…she loos fake though…) “Let’s go”. I don’t really understand but I think I’m in love…I can’t control myself and my heartbeat anymore…It annoys me a lot…
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So what do you guys think? Is it true love- or am I imagining things...?
Love // Sakura_99 <3
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