Hello!

I'm back with another depressing blog, but this isn't about me. I've actually been pretty fine lately. I just spend ask say in my room catching up on fairy tail and sleeping sooooooo. Yeah. This is for my friend. Or.... About him?

okay, I'm worried about my friend. To make explaining easier, his name is Caleb and is transgender from female to male. Even though we are just freshmen, he feels strongly about this and I know it is no phase. He chose to excited himself as a boy against his parents wishes, who are homophobic and transphobic, and he gets a lot of hate from his parents about it. I don't know to the extent of his family issues, but he has said in the group chat where we both have friends in that he has ed up in some way. That's it. Usually. He doesn't go into detail and we never bring it up in person because we are all going through our own problems and we know that some things are too sensitive to bring up in school.

he really got along with our mutual friend, Yulisa, and they would spend the majority of their tone together because both had depression and anxiety and had gone through though times. Recently yulisa moved and Caleb hasn't been talking much. All of a sudden tonight, he asks how to make yourself through up. I was suspicious right away because I know my fair share about eating disorders and bulimia but if he did something and wanted to take it back, I needed to help. I want the only one awake though. Our other friend was awake and told him what to do to make him vomit but before he left to go do it, we asked why. He said nothing other than some night . I still don't know if it was for which reason, but I'm worried.

as much as I have struggled in my own, it's so different song it happen to another person. It seems 10x worse because I can't feel what he is feeling. He is pretty much alone around everybody and I can't do anything about it because I don't understand anything. I don't even understand what is happening with myself. I just want him to be okay. I just want everybody to be okay. Are you okay?

I think it is the people I attract. From sixth grade on, my friends have all had issues. Really bad. It started when my old friend had to have surgery because of nerve damage for self harm, another of my friends goes in and out of using drugs and such, almost all of them are depressed. Idk. Life has no sunshine for anyone.

I don't know what I'm asking for in this post because I don't know what I would comment if I read this in another's shoes. I just needed to talk about it.

he will be okay, right?

update:

He wanted to die. I'm glad he showed regret. I talked to him about it. He took 6 antidepression and anxiety pills. I talked to him though. He was really worried because he was shaking really bad and his heart was beating fast and he was still bleeding, but I told him about myself. He is the third friend to know about my circumstances in real life in depth. I didn't tell him everything, just that I did the same thing. Earlier in the year, I was being experimental and took a week's worth of antidepression pills. Nothing happened other than me not being able to control my body. It ship m shook so much. My eyes lips hands legs. Everything. Everything was twitching. My pupils were a little weird looking too. But I'm fine right now. I told him about that and it called him down. I got him to lie down and breathe. I think he will be okay tonight. I told him to drink a lot of water tomorrow, but he said he can only do three glasses because he is having weight issues.

he will be okay.