UPVOTE ; THERE ARE NOTHING,JUST SHAME ON ME.

This blog is supposed to be my confession about me,my stupid action,my story,my past that bring shame on me.I can't hold anymore the feeling of guility,sad,dissapointed,shame,all of the negative feelings inside me,and if you don't mind please read till the end even you will find english errors,wrong spellings,typos and such.

 

Early this year,there are a lot advertisement of upvote shop from wall to wall and I'm the one who interest in it and check on it.I went from shop to shop,feels like it's normal thing to do and think that all author did the same - just to make more people read their stories.Yes,I'm stupid cause I thought that the upvote shop help you to make more people read your story,not to make you story raise up to be feature.I don't know about that at all and still continue the stupid act to almost every story that I have until I feel that I should not do this,'why i think this is wrong?','is this a right way to make people read my story?','why i feel bad?',and 'should i stop this?' - Yes,I stopped it right away and still feel bad,worst,guility and feel something unright.This feelings never go away even I still can see people subscribed,upvote and comments the story - I somehow feel like I or should I say my story don't deserve the attention people gave.There are something wrong but I don't know what it is? Until a day,two to three people message me about the wrong of using upvote shop.At that moment,I feels guility and shame on myself.'WHAT JUST I HAD DONE?' - This thing killing me and you know what,I'M SCARED,totally scared that people will bash,hit me with harsh words and such.I silently promise that I will never ever do it again,I only can wish that the single yellow star will never ever will appeared on my story.

 

LUCK WAS NEVER ON MY SIDE ; one of my story,'Angel VS Devil' got featured and my feel?Happy?Joy?Excited?Proud? Not all of that,I'm feels like I'm dirty,worst,guility,and totally big shame on me.I'm scared cat - people wil hate me,like totally hate me.'WHAT SHOULD I DO?' They should take away the star,I don't want the star,I can't comment anything cause I JUST SCARED - I NEVER EVER FEEL TO HATE BY OTHERS,ESPECIALLY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE.I stay quite and make myself blind like there are no star in my story.And recently,two of my story got featured which is 'a letter from your dead fan' and 'lu,i miss you...' AND PEOPLE START TO BOMB ME WITH THE WORDS that I feels like I deserved it at the first place cause I'm the one who start the stupid act,even though I don't know about it at the first place,I totally feels worst and shame shame shame shame,SHAME JUST EVERYWHERE ON MY FACE.I want to cry but for what?I need face the reality even the reality is bitter than dark chocolate,the reality that I don't want to face at all when I knew the truth,the reality that I don't want to face at all.I knew that I can't done something that can undone my act,my stupid act - If i can rewind the time,I will never ever want to do it.THIS IS TOTALLY WRONG! But what I can do now?I just can confess to you how worst I am,how my stupid act eat me,how I feel sorry to all of you - the authors who deserved the star and the subscribers who read my worst stories.I feel somehow feel relieve,glad,happy when the stars was taken away from the two stories - i totally glad.

 

I WANT TO CRY CAUSE I JUST STUPID TO LET MY DESIRE TO MAKE MORE PEOPLE READ MY STORY - THIS IS SUPER STUPID,I JUST SHOULD NOT DO IT AT THE FIRST PLACE.MY STORIES NEVER DESERVED TO BE READ MY ALL OF YOU,I KNEW MY STORIES ARE THE WORST.I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHOULD I DO,I CAN'T DO ANYTHING,RIGHT?ALMOST ALL OF YOU ALREADY HATE ME,A PERSON WHO YOU THINK CHEAT JUST TO MAKE HER STORIES GOT FEATURED.I DON'T WANT THE SINGLE STAR - NEVER THINK THAT I WILL RECEIVED IT.

I JUST HOPELESS ; SHAME ON ME!

 

I APOLOGISED FROM WHAT I HAD DONE,THE STUPID ACT THAT SHOULD NEVER BE DONE,I APOLOGISED FROM TAKE A SPOTLIGHT FROM THE ONE WHO TOTALLY DESERVE IT,I APOLOGISED FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

 

I'M SORRY.

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Comments

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chodenlovekaixoxo #1
Hey, I don't know if u r feeling good now or not and still blaming ur self and apologizing but Its okay you've sincerely apologized and realized ur mistake which is a good thing but if u are still thinking about the thing which u did then I want to say that forget about the past, we are human beings, its our nature to do some mistakes and from that mistakes only we learn our things. So, stop hovering those feels that u did smth really horrible. Hope u r doing good :)

And I came across ur fic bcuz it was featured but mainly bcuz of the TITLE....the title was quite interesting so I thought why not check out this fic and its a very good one-shot, ur english is not so bad but there're some grammar error except that all r good but I was kinda disappointed bcuz it was not chapter-wise :( And I'll be so glad if u write a sequel or Sehun's POV ❤
ButtercupRainbowdanz #2
heyy it's fine I just came across one of your stories and I think it was actually worth the feature :) everyone makes mistakes and no one really minds besides your stories are original and I loved reading it
but what does this have to do with me' I just came across a story, the one where I saw my name and I wondered what this has to do with me no offense :D
moonbliss #3
I'm sorry but what does this have to do with me?
superdupper #4
You deserve to get feature on your story. You don't have to feel guilty sweetie.
pyonppi #5
But... what does this have to do with me??
bbyyunki #6
Aww authornim,why do u feel sorry for getting your story featured?Think about it:Do you those people feally will know HOW much effort you put in your stories?Lol I know how your grammar is but this needs to improve.You know that everyone has flaws and needs to improve by some chance.I know it might be harsh to you but that's how you'll improve.Yeah I know I'm just 13 lol but everyone isn't perfect for me.So hwaiting unnie!(idk your age so I'll call u unnie first yep :3)
taesces #7
Dear, you are on about feeling guilty and dirty and all that jazz. Lol if people criticize you let them do it. Because first of all it's the truth. You need to IMPROVE your english language. You have to embrace your flaws to see them clearly and what it needs to be done. Dont take negative opinions deeply to yourself. Let critics motivate you to change, learn and improve. Anyways if you continue on ramble on hating yourself, then you'd seem like asking for the people's pity which signifies greed for attention. Even if it's bad attention. Now OUR attention is on you, u happy? If you keep on doing this honestly, you will be remembered as the author who hated himself/herself because of the critics.

If you want to change, you have to get up man and start doing the right thing.
You have to read books, you have to watch films. You have to read poetry. It will enhance your english grammar, writing skills, creativity.
Read read read read read read and read, don't stop. If you have low focus tolerance or if you're inattentive then you have to discipline yourself. Discipline. That, is if you want to change and learn. Then you can create a good story and post it here, no need for you to visit advertisement shops and whatnot.. Because people will be aware of your story if it's good, worth reading, and people will talk about it and share it with their friends. And you can have hundreds of upvotes because of your hard work and authenticity, who knows you might even publish your work.

So stop acting like a pitiful immature child. It's damn sickening.
officiallymissingu #8
I can't really understand why this is troubling you so much. Honestly, your works are amazing. As a writer, having people reading and enjoying our stories is our main goal. Honey, I don't see why this should give you a hard time at all. I understand why you're feeling guilty cause you think that what you did was wrong. But I just want to let you know that you did nothing wrong, well, at least to me, you didn't! Calm down okay? I love you and I'm looking forward for your next work. XD
lovesungjong #9
I LOVED YOUR STORY SO I UPVOTED YOU ON MY OWN SO CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLL XD
BlingBlingMaknae #10
I dont really understand why you WERE being stressed over this. Okay first of all, I will advertise if I am you. I dont care if i receive backlash for this but yeah, i am thirsty for readers. I want my stories to be read and to be commented on so badly. Why? Because no matter how much i think my story is bad, people are there to assure me that it isnt. now that i think about it, i make stories with time and energy that can never be back to me, because of my passion for writing. so no matter how much a writing seems like it ',' it deserves to be read and to be noticed BECAUSE WE AUTHORS POUR ALL OF OUR HEARTS AND DEDICATION IN EVERY FANFIC WE MAKE, WITHOUT PAY. The fact that someone stumbles upon your story, whether voluntarily, advertisement shops or recommendations, etc. is a big thing for authors. The fact that someone reads the piece that you spent sleepless nights on, pulled all nighters just to brainstorm for plots and the days that you endured the numbness of ur fingers and aching shoulders because of ur endless efforts to type everything... the knowledge that someone reads ur story is totally enough payment for those things.

instead of feeling sorry, why dont u celebrate? you should be happy because people see a piece of ur heart. u should be happy because people read the composition you spent ur time and energy on. u should be happy because most authors do not get those upvotes even if they deserve it so much. u should not be depressed over those stuff. why feel ashamed? you just shared the thing that you worked on so much. it is nothing to be stressed about. you should be over the moon instead of being downcast. cheer up. just write and accept those upvotes and comments. be grateful instead of being sorry.

my god. i am dying to be featured. i know some authors also feel the same way. YOU DESERVE IT. YOU DESERVE IT OKAY. People subscribe and upvote because they like it. so please, stop being despressed. it isnt worth it. u should be happy. CONGRATS FOR BEING FEATURED~
blushingmeh #11
hey relax its k
u dont have to that depressed
u realised ur mistake nd thats the main nd the best thing
keep on writing good pieces nd move on
fighting....!!!!
UB12345 #12
Hey, I just wanted to ask something. I'm not sure if there's a double user or anything, but my account name is UB12345 and was kind of wondering why I was mentioned in your book? Thanks :).
Betacarotene #13
There's nothing to apologize for. Your story is awesome. And you deserve it though. :)
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