Mental Health
Many people probably don't know this about me. I'm battling with Mental Health problems.
I can get mad and angry at simple things and just hate myself for it. Most times I am unable to hold in my angry, but there is some occasion I lash out at anyone who talks to me.
A major cause of Mental Health is stress and working at a stressful job doesn't help. Working at a Veterinary Clinic does make me happy and is my dream job. However, I have to deal with not being able to save everyone or the fact one mistake can lose a life in the field. My boss finally understands me without me telling him about my illness.
With stress comes along with depression. Which is one of the reasons, I have not updated any of my stories in the past two months. I am so depressed that I don't want to come out of bed; I just want to close my eyes and live in my dream world. I can break down and cry at any point of the day. Usually, I hid away and just put on a smile.
Honestly, there has been a time I thought about committed suicide or just inflicting pain upon myself. My chest is full of scars from my nails digging into my skin. I now wear clothes that hide my chest. Speaking of clothes, I used to have any eating problem. In high school, I didn't eat at all, and now I just eat the wrong foods. I gained about 30 lbs that I need to lose. I am so body conscious that I hate taking photos.
I need to make a change in my life. I don't know what to do anymore. Even on my birthday I am not celebrating because I have to work late, and none of the friends can celebrate with me. What to do . . .
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