*Names have been changed to Taeyeon and Tiffany

It's all coming back.

Just when I thought I've completely gotten over my bestfriend of five years, here she goes again... making my heart flutter. JUST WHY? -__-

So there came a period when I realized that MAYBE... what I felt back then was just pure sisterly love. We graduated from college last year. At the back of my mind, I was relieved. I thought that maybe, by being away from her, my lingering feelings would disappear.

Yes, it did. But only for a while.

We didn't see each other for more than a month. I swear it was the longest time of us being apart. But still, we did send each other messages. The inner me was so scared that maybe our friendship would just go to waste. I didn't want to lose her.

We sent photos of each other. We made sure we were still updated on the happenings of our lives. But it wasn't enough. The feeling was INCOMPLETE. I wanted to bring back the old us.

So we agreed to free our schedule and set one whole day of bonding.

There was spark between us when we saw each other again. Sorry for being cheesy but it felt like the whole world was moving in slow motion when our eyes met. And we were giggling.... for no reason. @_@

History repeated itself. We went on Ice skating once again. (referring to Real Life Fluff on Ice)

We bought couple jackets. We held hands. I was feeling giddy on the inside because I taught her how to be on her own but still, she insisted to hold hands.

Heck, I didn't even care what others might have thought about us= two feminine girls wearing couple jackets, holding hands, taking selfies, and giggling all throughout.

I was happy. I felt complete. Bliss.

And then we saw each other again a week after that. We were in a group when someone asked her, "I didn't know you were engaged."

He was pointing at the ring that my bff was wearing. She didn't answer. But instead, she just looked at me.... and flashed her widest smile. THAT WAS OUR COUPLE RING. (Butterflies, stop it.)

We bought it together before our graduation last year. She's not fond of wearing rings, but whenever we're together, she wears it. I LOST MINE. (But she bought me another one. hahaha)

-----

After a health screening at an event that we both attended, I was advised by the doctor to limit my caffeine intake. And so I told my bestfriend that every cup of coffee that I drink is equivalent to a hard slap.

And this is what she exactly answered: "Why would I slap you?"

"Do you have any other suggestion?" I asked.

....

"A kiss instead?" She said, trying to supress her giggles.

I tried my best not to squeal because she's just so smooth I can't even. akefjsdkjfdjbf

"But that would just result to me drinking more coffee." I answered jokingly.

And then we both laughed. At the back of my mind, I kept asking myself if these words are normally exchanged by friends. Because.... I don't know. It's still confusing. After five long years, SHE IS STILL CONFUSING ME.

---

Dinner time.

"It feels good that we're still like this." She randomly blurted out.

"Like what?" I asked.

"This close. I thought we would drift apart after graduation."

I sighed. "I already told you. We'll never let that happen. Ever."

"Thank you, Fany-ah..." She was looking at me with puppy eyes. "But what if someone else comes into your life? I'm gonna be replaced. Are you gonna replace me? Is it ever gonna happen?"

I just smiled at her, hoping that she would get the message through my eyes. "Taeyeon-ah.. Don't be silly. No one can replace you."

I laughed a little after saying that because I sounded cheesy.

Next week, we'll be having a sleepover. Just the two of us. Another day of supressing my feelings.

-----------

It's all coming back. It's funny how the little things she does still have an effect on me. We used to say 'Iloveyou' a lot to each other during college. But now, whenever we tell it to each other, it feels like my stomach is having a butterfly party. It's more sincere, more hearfelt.

Even after all these years, she still is the only one who could make my heart melt. I don't even care if what I feel for her is sisterly love or more than that. What matters most is that I feel complete when I'm with her.

I'm just wondering if there would be a real confession between us in this lifetime. After all, we're still young. A lot can happen, right?

But for now, I can truly say that I'm happy with what we are. :)