Don't worry, I'm also tired of doing the same thing every year... so I'm going to make a different one this time.

Every fangirl's dream is to meet her idol, to have a close encounter with them, to see them face to face, to touch their perfectly molded figures etc etc. I'm a fangirl... and I admit I once formed those dreams in my mind. I'd been wanting to them actually... to HIM actually. But now, being here in this kind of industry (WOW) for a few years, all I wanted is for my bby boy to be happy, have a prosper and contented life in the future and be healthy. True that a person's thinking change as time goes by. I've been a fan of Lee Hyukjae for almost 5 years... FIVE FREAKING YEARS. So far, I've never still thought about how I lived the first 11 years of my life without Lee Hyukjae in it.

If I started telling OUR LOVESTORY here, my friends might roll their eyes and say "Tired, we're tired. We're so done," so I decided not too... but I might just summarize it. LOL.

It was just that one day I woke up and saw a very charming picture of Eunhyuk and started staring at it non-stop and I tell to myself, "What a wonderful world..." LOL. Kidding aside, I actually, honestly can't still explain why I fell in love with this man. I guess the saying that when you truly fall in love, you won't be able to explain the reason why state the fact.

Years pass by, I thought I was going to outgrow my fandom with Super Junior. Little did I know that as time went by, my love for them became more and more deep and real. Sooner, fangirling became my lifestyle. I f you're going to ask me about my profession, I would say that I'm a fangirl. If you would ask me what sport I'm into, I would answer stalking/ fangirling. I'm so aware that a lot of people don't understand how we feel. They would all say that we've been crazy over someone who doesn't even know us out of immaturity and childishness. They REALLY.don't.understand... they TRULY.don't.understand...

So to clarify things out, I made a list of advantages and disadvantages of fanning over Lee Hyukjae...

JANNELA'S DISADVANTAGES OF FANNING OVER LEE HYUKJAE

1. I became a ert.

2. I became aware of 'abs', 'crotch', 'ovaries explode' and the like.

3. I started reading fanfics and become more and more delusional every time I finish one.

4. I learned how to skip meals for... about... 2 whole months just to be able to buy their album.

5. I engaged in fanwars with the other fandom.

6. I started saying bad and incoherent words.

7. My life became more emotional.

JANNELA'S ADVANTAGES OF FANNING OVER LEE HYUKJAE

1. I learned how to love without expecting something in return.

2. I gained many friends from the ELF fandom and some are even from the other countries. (HI UNNIES FROM MALAYSIA, ISLAND OF CARRIBEAN, INDONESIA, AND BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINIA ^_^)

3. I learned how to endure a lot of things.

4. I learned how to be open-minded.

5. I learned how to appreciate other culture.

6. I learned where to get HQ pics. (does that even count as an advantage? LOL)

7. I learned how to be creative.

8. I learned that life is not just about the achievements but also the hardships.

9. I learned how to raise my standards when it comes to dating. (NO BOYFRIEND SINCE 17 YEARS AGO!!! LOL)

10. I learned how to "Swing never never give up!~"

11. I learned how to appreciate other people's efforts.

12. I learned how to do things with synchronization.

13. I realized what I want to be... a writer.

AND MANY MANY MORE NONSENSE / SENSEFUL THINGS TO SORT OF. LOL.

I won't further make this blog long (even though it's already freaking long). I just want everyone to know that I didn't become a Hyukjae fangirl out of immaturity and childishness. I learned a lot of amazing and wonderful things because of Lee Hyukjae... and I'll be thankful for those for the rest of my life. I know that there'll come a time that Super Junior will probably end their carreer as an idol group and I will probably be able to get over the heartache from it. But one thing's for sure, I will never ever forget those 15 dorks, especially that one, special bejeweled guy, until my last breath. Even though he doesn't know me personally, I would like to show my gratitude for his presence. I would also like to acknowledge his parents for having raised such an awesome son... special thanks to his mother, Jang Dok-Bun, for bringing to this world my most precious boy. I'm really, really hoping that he would still have a long way to go through his journey in show business. I know that being an artist is his passion but every person has his / her limitations. It really bothers me a lot knowing that he once thought of giving up. But then I thought that I have to support him with whatever decision he makes. That is what I think is my only responsibility as his fan because I took an oath ever since the day I became an ELF that I would be together with them through good times and bad times. Anyway, I will love him whoever he is and whatever he wants to be. I accepted his flaws and shortcomings (why do I talk like I'm his girlfriend or something? Oh I almost forgot I'm delusional! Kkkkk).

Lastly, I know... I'm very very much aware that he has to (sobs) to... enter the military service soon. It still makes me emotional even though I know it'll be for his own good. I'm really just an overacting .

A BRIEF MESSAGE FOR LEE HYUKJAE:

Hey bby! Happy birthday! You know I love you and I know you love me. I apologize 'coz I won't be able to watch your concert here in the Philippines even though everything's all set. Something just really came up. I'm so sorry. I know, shame on me. But promise, after this, I won't slip another chance of seeing you. I might just end my life if that'd happen again... kidding! I love you so very dearly and no other adjective or adverb can describe how much I love you. I... (whimpers) I'm going to miss you very very much! Please promise me to take care of yourself for those 2 hell years you'll be spending in military service. Please please please!!!! Hhuhuhuhu I really love you... really. God bless you again and again and again until you become the most blessed man on Earth. Hahahahaha! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY ANCHOVY-MONKEY-JEWEL GUY. You're not aging, you're just a year older bby huhu. HAVE A BLAST!!!!!!!!! Mwah mwah mwah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ you're everlasting little crazy cute charming friend / wife / bby gal, Jannela Ruby Esmayan Garriel

P.S. : DATE A DESERVING GIRL. PLEASE! YOU'RE TOO PRECIOUS TO BE WASTED BY A .